So yesterday was officially my first day as a second year medicine student. However, it is not confirmed yet for a few of us if we could make it into the second year. I, in particular, am very worried. I haven't been one of those top achievers this year and I slacked. Yes, I slacked and messed up. I don't know what I was doing. I'm beginning to regret everything. I don't want to repeat the first year.
Why?
Embarrassment. That's a big word. But here I am, talking about it. I don't think anyone would notice anyway but it still hurts me because I cam't really talk about it with anyone. I'm so scared and I'm feeling so alone.
Dear God, please let me proceed into the second year with ease. I promise I'll try my very best to improve.
TMNB.
I have written so many poems. I'm thinking of publishing them here instead. Keeping them away would bring me nothing and I've got nothing to lose by posting them. So.. Yeah.. I guess I'll start publishing them tomorrow. TMNB (;
I thought the feeling has gone until I saw you again today. You acted as if nothing has ever happened between us. Without you knowing, my heart trembled and slowly started to fall apart. Being the good friend I am, I played along to your jokes. Sometimes I wish you could see right through me.
So.. It's been a long time since I last wrote. I guess I'm gonna start writing a lot more now (?)
I'm thinking of doing it like a diary entry if you know what I mean. It's gonna be about how I feel etc. I guess I'll get started now then :)
Wow.. It's been a while since I last blogged about something..
It seems like there are so many changes here.. I guess I just have to get used to it.
I mean, that's life.. Sometimes things change.
People change. What we thought would stay constant all the time would eventually change to something better, God forbid, worse.
So there reason why I came back is because I'm gonna have my FINALS this week. Well actually it starts tomorrow. My first paper is Biology. I love Biology.
This is a picture of a pathogen called Trypanosoma
I know at first I have a little problem adapting to our new lecturer. Well.. Not a little, it's actually quite a lot.
I've become a rebel in some sort of way. I wouldn't pay attention in class. I talked behind her back.
And you know what, I got BAD GRADES. I'm serious. What terrible grades I received during that "period".
When I finally start to realise that my childish behaviour is not making things any better, I thought, "What the heck?"
I actually thought that she hated me too.. But once I get to know her, she's not really that bad and amazingly, she became nicer.. I wonder if this has anything to do with our change in attitude. It's actually not me alone who kinda dislikes her. Almost the whole class does. But anyways.. I'm gonna do my best in my finals.
I wanna make my parents proud. I wanna make my teachers proud. I aim to get 4.00 GPA.
I wonder if it's possible. Hmm...
Oh well.. I'm gonna do the very best coz it's all up to me. The rest, I'll leave it to God. He knows that I've tried my best and I leave it in His hands :)
TMNB
